Thursday, 31 December 2015

2015 // 2016

(this is quite a shitty post, but I am too tired to think coherently for now)

It is New Year's Eve, so of course I had to have a lengthy post reflecting on the past year.

I feel like I severely lost my sense of time this year. I have no recollection of how 2015 started, what happened before my internship began and whether certain events took place this year or the year before. New Year's Eve actually caught me off guard, because I kept thinking there is still a long way to go before the year ends.

Everything was just a blur to me. I guess I was too wrapped up in my internship bubble, heh.

So, things that happened 2015...


Leaving Tembusu


This was the year I left Tembusu; the end to living in my little UTown bubble. I never liked goodbyes, so it was difficult to acknowledge the end of my two-year stay. 

I have already blogged about it previously, so I shall not go on any further as I have nothing much to add for now. I will miss Tembusu tremendously when the new semester begins and I have to deal with school without the convenience of Tembusu.

CAP


This was also the year my CAP finally improved. It has been a rollercoaster ride, from 3.5 > 3.38 > 3.33 > 3.59. It is far from impressive or ideal, but I am just glad to finally see a significant improvement. A little progress is better than none.

FFFA (Free Food For All)


This was certainly an unusual internship, if you could even call it that. It felt more like a school project, and I spent most of my time going around to interview people who lived in one-room rental flats.

I have learned so much from talking to the people we interviewed. From kindly old people who seemed contented and happy despite their circumstance, to the scheming ones who lie their way through to receive more free stuff, it was certainly an eye-opening experience (as clichéd as it might sound).

MBS


Right after my short stint at FFFA, I started my internship at MBS. This I certainly was not expecting. 

I will leave the reflections for my last day of work next Friday. All I can say right now is that this internship was the most significant part of my 2015 and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity. 

Things I learned in 2015:


This was the year I realised how much I enjoyed spending some quality alone time, and how precious it can be. Learning to be comfortable in your own company is important, and this was something I figured out in 2015.

I probably liked spending time alone all this while, just that it became more apparent this year. I would attribute it to having my weekdays sucked away by work. Alone time is so hard to come by these days.

This is my view right now and I am soaking up every minute of it:


Another thing I learned about myself was how I had crazy high expectations for myself at times, and that I project these expectations onto others as well.

I already mentioned something similar in last year's post, but that was specific to friendships. This time round, with the internship and all, I realised just how much I expect of myself when it comes to work. Any expectations others might have of me, the expectations I set for myself will far surpass them.

This may seem like a good thing, but too much of anything is never good. It is not sustainable and it will only be a matter of time before I crumble. Also, I end up getting so frustrated when others fail to meet the expectations I have set. I get so particular about making sure everything is done right, and I do not hesitate to point out any mistakes or inadequacy.

Which brings me to my goals for 2016:


Be happy


I need to be less uptight and less of a perfectionist. Sometimes, it is okay to not have every single second planned in advance. Certain issues do not require my criticism if it does not value-add to anything or anyone. Worrying is a waste of imagination and god knows I have an incredibly vivid imagination, judging from all the things I get paranoid about. I should be the last person to make myself unhappy and my life difficult.

Read more


I used to love reading. I used to read all the time when I was young - when I eat, when I shit (ha ha), before I sleep, in the car, you name it. This habit stopped reading when I entered JC, I concluded that social media and smartphones are to be blamed (okay, more like I am to be blamed for succumbing to their evil powers). 

In an attempt to read more, I have been following @blueeyedbiblio on Instagram. Her photos are so pretty, they really motivate me to read more. Also, booksandquills on YouTube does great book reviews and she is so bubbly in her videos, which makes reading seem more exciting. 

I am currently reading We Were Liars by E. Lockhart, which has been really interesting so far, so this was a good choice to hopefully spark off a reading streak in 2016.

Exercise more


Bought a new swimsuit and a pair of Nike Roshe this year, and it is about time I put them to good use. I need an exercise buddy to drag me out of the house and into the sun, so if anyone is reading this, please jio me out to exercise.

I do not wish to regret my terribly unhealthy lifestyle only when I am 30, 发福, turn into a fat auntie and discover all sorts of illnesses festering within me.

What lies ahead...


After an eight-month break from school, it is time to go back. I have no idea how I will adapt. I think I have forgotten how to do citations, and have suppressed the traumatic memories of going through piles of readings. This will be even more difficult since it will be my first semester without Tembusu. I will get over it somehow, but I will definitely miss Tembusu during the first few weeks.

I am, however, looking forward to planning for the upcoming Arts Camp. I have toyed with the idea of joining O'Comm last Arts Camp but felt too attached to T4 and wanted to just crash as a senior. After joining the camp as a freshie, a councillor and a crasher, I will now experience Arts Camp from a whole new perspective. I am honestly very excited for this, to the point where it is getting rather uncool, hehe.

Overall, I would say that 2015 trumps 2014 hands down. 

And now, to ring in the new year, I will be bingeing on Essiebutton's YouTube videos and rewatching Sherlock in anticipation of the Christmas special, while a very yummy Frosted Cranberry candle from Bath & Body Works makes me room smell more festive.

(ノ´∀`)ノ*.゚・。:*:.゚・☆ A HAPPY NEW YEAR ☆・゚.:*:。・゚.*ヽ(´∀`ヽ)

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