Saturday, 16 May 2015

ARE YOU BEAUTIFUL?

(Pardon the cheesy title that sounds like some Dove campaign, heh)

So I stumbled upon this video today (although it was uploaded a year ago #slow) and thought it was quite thought-provoking.


Hmm, I guess this video struck a nerve because it's something that I can relate to. I used to be really insecure and self-conscious, and while I think I have improved tremendously, I still have my insecurities and self-doubt. Duh, who can ever be completely free from insecurities?

Maybe it's an Asian parent thing, but I could really relate to what she said. On hindsight, I never really cared about these traits until I was told to view them negatively. A lot of the things that I was conscious about, I only felt that way because I was told to see them as flaws that had to be corrected or removed.

I have been told I have a big nose and should pinch it every day to make it sharper (whut???), that I have terrible complexion and should apply all these facial products and went for facial treatments that hurt like a bitch, that my hair was dry like "干草" and should apply some hair treatment oil, or that I am too short (but no solutions to fix this, ha ha).

I know my mother meant well and was just providing suggestions or advice, and I certainly don't resent her for it. I don't think those comments were what made me insecure (because my insecurities were not looks-related), but they drew attention to what I would otherwise ignore. Growing up, I was especially self-conscious about my big nose and terrible complexion. I hated how smiling made my nose look even bigger, and how I always get oily skin and huge pores without fail.

I still dislike those particular traits of mine, but now, I just have the "this sucks but I was born like this and if you can't deal with it then too bad" mentality. If I ever have a boyfriend that tells me I need to put makeup or pull whatever stunt to hide my flaws because he finds it gross, then out the door he goes. Or at least I hope I will be 狠 enough to do so.

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with putting on makeup and all that, because the act of doing so is not the root of the problem. I am starting to like putting on makeup because it's really quite fun, although I am still a complete noob. Makeup or no makeup, I guess the main focus is to accept yourself the way you are (ugh, so cheesy but it's true leh).

In fact, I think makeup can be empowering if you have the right mindset. It should never be a matter of hating your bare face and dying of shame should anyone ever catch you without makeup.

Instead, it is rather empowering to know that you have this face of yours that is perfectly fine the way it is, but you also have the ability to use makeup to enhance your existing features should you wish to do so. And when you remove your makeup, you are still as amazing as ever, just without the additional layer of goop.

It's like, my phone is awesome and it can look nice with a cover, but it is still the same awesome phone when I remove the cover and I love it all the same. Did that analogy make any sense?

It applies to other things as well. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve your complexion through whatever means, but you should keep in mind that there is also nothing wrong with having acne or big pores or oily skin.

I think we sometimes care too much about what others think of us, without realising that others are usually too caught up worrying about that exact same thing to actually critically judge you for such superficial details. And the few who do judge you, who cares what they think?

***

Okay, I am not sure if this entry was coherent because it's 2am and I don't know why I always tend to have such lengthy reflections only when it is past midnight. Probably time to sleep, because it's FASS Open Day tomorrow and I need all the energy I can garner for the 8 hours of talking tomorrow.

I will probably come back to proofread and edit this again some other time.

Zzz.

P.S. Yes I know the video is part of a play production, but the message remains the same, no?

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